Quirit is a quirk of nature. He accidentally came into being when a stray egg cell was fertilized by the BSE-virus. Some 60 cell divisions later, he was born. The rest of his life is easily summed up: he ate, drank and grew fatter and taller. Quirit is oversexed. Beneath the thick layers of his skull, a Viagra gland was found in the exact spot where a normal human being's pituitary gland would be. Whereas others wear pyjamas to bed, Quirit has no choice but to squeeze himself into a condom. Mr Average is 90% water, Quirit is 100% grubby fantasy.

On the 17th of March, Quirit saw his first cartoon published in an illustrious weekly. The editor had mixed up the in and the out tray. As a result, Quirit cartoons keep popping up in the most unexpected places. And this, most faithful reader, is something which we're going to have to live with.

The creative process

Of all cartoonists, dead or alive, Quirit is most definitely the worst to take advice from. He can stare aimlessly at a blank page for months on end. When you catch him drawing a line, you'll soon discover that this is just a temporary spasm of activity in a persistent condition of semi-coma. Of course, Quirit has the odd lucid moment in which he scratches several lines on the same page. When he is so fortunate as to knock over a bottle of Tipp-ex across his master piece, a Quirit cartoon is born (and saved as a Photoshop document). Being a master hacker, he uses the net to penetrate the layout of countless unsuspecting magazines. Like the merciless cuckoo, he deposits his brain child without looking back. With a bit of luck on his side, the publication of yet another Quirit cartoon is a fact.